A few weeks ago I wrote this post on jealousy. I challenged myself to pray for people I am jealous of or people who have what I want. I have been doing that pretty regularly since then, and am SO excited to announce that God has not only allowed me to get over my feelings, but has completely changed my heart.
I’ve been praying for friends of mine who became pregnant on the first try who previously had made me so frustrated. Honestly, I didn’t wish them ill-will, but I also didn’t wish them happiness. I just ignored the fact the they existed. Now I am actually happy for them. I am able to talk about their upcoming deliveries and how their pregnancy is going without cringing and feeling like I was dying inside. I’m also praying for a good friend of mine who I know just started TTC last month. Before I was secretly hoping she wouldn’t get pregnant until after she moved away (in 2 months) so I wouldn’t have to deal with her excitement face-to-face, but could nicely script an email in response to her future announcement. Now that I’ve been praying she conceives right away, I find myself hopeful for her, and excited that she may be pregnant.
Isn’t it amazing what prayer can do? I seriously am in awe of God’s power that he was able to take away my spite and jealousy and replace it with joy. I can’t stress enough how much I want everyone who, like me, has/had nasty feelings towards those “fertile folk” to start praying fervently for them. You won’t believe the freedom it has given me.