Update on Hey Jealousy

Hello!

A few weeks ago I wrote this post on jealousy. I challenged myself to pray for people I am jealous of or people who have what I want. I have been doing that pretty regularly since then, and am SO excited to announce that God has not only allowed me to get over my feelings, but has completely changed my heart.

I’ve been praying for friends of mine who became pregnant on the first try who previously had made me so frustrated. Honestly, I didn’t wish them ill-will, but I also didn’t wish them happiness. I just ignored the fact the they existed. Now I am actually happy for them. I am able to talk about their upcoming deliveries and how their pregnancy is going without cringing and feeling like I was dying inside. I’m also praying for a good friend of mine who I know just started TTC last month. Before I was secretly hoping she wouldn’t get pregnant until after she moved away (in 2 months) so I wouldn’t have to deal with her excitement face-to-face, but could nicely script an email in response to her future announcement. Now that I’ve been praying she conceives right away, I find myself hopeful for her, and excited that she may be pregnant.

Isn’t it amazing what prayer can do? I seriously am in awe of God’s power that he was able to take away my spite and jealousy and replace it with joy. I can’t stress enough how much I want everyone who, like me, has/had nasty feelings towards those “fertile folk” to start praying fervently for them. You won’t believe the freedom it has given me.

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Blessings,

Tally

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Hey jealousy,

Who doesn’t love that song? Lately I feel like the title speaks a lot to my current situation. To be real, I’ve been feeling a lot of jealousy lately. I’ve been jealous of others who are pregnant, jealous of those who aren’t pregnant, but probably have the ability, jealous of people with more money than me, people with great skin, great fitness, great travel…the list goes on!

It’s never a coincidence when something in my study of Jesus hits right where it needs to when it needs to. I have been using a new testament devotional Time With God for a few years now. You read an excerpt of the New Testament, paired with an excerpt from the Old Testament and then some kind of poem, message or story written by someone. You then make your way through the New Testament. Right now I am making my way second time ’round in the book of Acts, which I really have really been enjoying because gets me motivated to evangelize more and also puts my heart in check.

Today’s passage was spot on:

Delight yourself in the spiritual victories of others:

Delight in all triumphs in Christ Jesus.

Rejoice when another’s success is greater than yours: Be glad when another receives what you need.

Remain at peace when another receives the attention you think you deserve.

You must not strive: You must war against all jealousy and contention.

Say today: I will not be jealous. I will not contend. I will not strive. I will rejoice at another’s victories. I will delight in the success of others. I will not think others less worthy or less important than I. I will not see my work as more important than someone else’s. I will pray for those who are my competitors. I will rejoice in my relationship with the Lord.

And so it will be.

-Marie Chapian

After this reading I sat on my couch and repeated this prayer several times. I then went through an made some specific prayers about specific people/situations in my life who I am jealous of right now. Isn’t that such a powerful passage? How often can you say you’ve prayed for your competitors or been happy when someone else gets  what you ache for? I certainly could count those moments on one hand (or less).

I encourage you to take a moment right now an investigate your heart. Are you coveting something someone else has or does? Make a conscious effort to pray for someone you were previously jealous of. Pray that they get even more of what you want. Hasn’t God spun a beautiful story specific to each of us? He won’t forget you in that story, it just may not work out how you planned. I need to be reminded of this daily because I think that my story needs to be what I imagined, not what God has laid out for me. 

For me, that is some serious food for thought!

xTally