Prayer Group

Hi everyone, I’m back! I know I haven’t been around in almost a year. To me, this blog is kind of like a diary for my experiences with fertility and not-so-fertility, so when I don’t have anything to say or am not feeling things about that topic, I don’t post. I wanted to steer clear of the feeling of obligation to write just for the sake of it, and only wanted to post when I had something to say.

So, on that note, I have something to say. After almost  years of being pregnant or having an infant, I now feel that its an appropriate time for me to start supporting others as I was supported.

After praying, talking with some friends from church and reflecting, I’ve decided to start a prayer group for those struggling with fertility difficulties. We’re starting small–inviting people I know of and asking friends to invite people they may know who would want to be prayed over. I have set very low expectations–It will for sure be me and one other girl from church–if it’s just us that will be just fine and we will pray for our friends who are struggling, but not there.

I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but feel I’ve not been given the gift of prayer, so always shied away from actually doing it, for fear of having to pray in front of people. But I had some friends really encourage me to do it, including one who said she would be the “lead prayer… so…here I go!

If you know of anyone who lives in Minneapolis and would like to come, just send me a message–We’d love to have you! Or if you’d just like to be on our prayer list, send me a message with your details and if there is something specific you’d like prayer for.

And you if you wanted, you could pray for me, giving me the courage to do this, and the words from God to speak to people’s experiences and surround them with love!

xTally

 

 

Advertisements

3 and 4 months

We have had a crazy couple of months here in the Smith house. In 2 months we’ve visited Madison, WI for a concert (Ben Rector), downtown Chicago, San Francisco, Tennessee and we are about to leave for North Carolina for a week. Because of that, I’ve not had a lot of time to get on here and post. I have been getting on my app and checking in on everyone, but haven’t had to motivation/energy to post.

Will’s work is very exhausting and he works long hours, but there are some great perks. Chicago and SF were work trips, so we only had to pay for my airfare and had a little mini vacay. Plus, he gets 6 WEEKS paid paternity leave, which he can take anytime in the first year. So we are doing a family road trip to Tennessee and North Carolina this month. We are excited that Harriet gets to put her feet in each ocean before 6 months!

Harriet is doing great. She is sleeping through the night and starting to teethe. She loves to smile and laugh and play with her feet.  Breastfeeding finally got easy and I love feeding her. It was a long road though, I’d say around 3 1/2 months is when it finally was easy. I can finally wear exclusively non-maternity clothes, but my belly, bum, and back, (yes, back) still has a little extra meat on it.

I am so happy that several IF bloggers and friends who have struggled have recently announced that they are having babies, and am still praying for those who are still waiting on babies through pregnancy or adoption.

Here are a few photos from Harriet’s last 2 months.

IMG_1590

Mother’s Day Hike

IMG_1633

Sisters and their babies

 

IMG_1659

Exploring Chicago together

IMG_1727

IMG_1949

Seeing the midwife who helped bring her into the world again!

IMG_1126

Her first plane ride. She was a rockstar!

IMG_1995

Her first baseball game at AT&T Park. Go Mariners!

IMG_2111

2 months

I’m a bit behind, but for good reason. Little girl is going through a growth spurt so she doesn’t want to sleep much and when she does sleep its only for short periods of time! So nap times are dishes, laundry, eat, then times up!

I can’t believe I’ve had my little Harriet for 2 months (+1 week) now. I am reminded daily of how special she is and how great God is.

She now smiles at us on purpose and talks non-stop, especially when she is on her play mat. Harriet is starting weight bear on her legs and actually pays attention for short periods of time when we read to her. She loves to go for walks in her ergo baby and loves having private conversations with her daddy.

Here is some cuteness for your weekend.

IMG_1459 IMG_1487 IMG_1519

You are not alone–Bloggers unite!

While we were struggling to become pregnant I was not overly open about our struggles. I was embarrassed, I was ashamed and I was alone. Everyone around me appeared so fertile. All my friends were pregnant, or had babies and I was the odd one who couldn’t do it.

I went to an infertility prayer night at my church (despite my fears) and found 20+ women there who were young, cool and also aching for a baby. There were people at all stages of the journey there and others who just had a heart for us. We were able to share our story and be prayed over, which was an incredible feeling. After that I began to see that light.

I was not alone. I still felt isolated, but at least I felt like there were other people out there who weren’t monsters who struggled to get pregnant. It was then a slow uphill battle as each month passed with my womb empty and pregnancy announcements filled my news feed. I again began to feel like I was alone. I stopped using Facebook because every time I looked at it, I sunk deeper into my hole.

Then in January 2014 I decided to start a blog partially to express myself, but, to be honest, mostly to connect with other people who are in the same boat and have the same feelings I was having. It was AMAZING. I immediately starting following lots of blogs and hoping someone would comment on something I wrote so we could become “friends”. I was so excited when I got to 10 followers and then every time someone new followed me or posted a comment I did a little dance in my head. I found comfort in words others wrote, and others found comfort in knowing they weren’t alone in all the crazy feelings they had. I wasn’t ready to talk about it with people I knew, but it was great to talk about it with people I didn’t know!

Then I was lucky enough to become pregnant with an IUI. For some reason once I became I pregnant I felt like it was ok to talk about it with people I actually knew. I don’t know why I kept quiet publicly why were struggling. I think I wanted to keep it a secret in the hopes that when we did get pregnant it would be a surprise, and not expected by everyone. I know part of it was not wanting everyone to “check in” on me each month. Since opening up I have found many others in my life who struggle as well. There may be more, but they may not be ready to talk to me about it yet.

So I want everyone out there reading this, weather a regular follower or someone who just fell across this blog: You are not alone. Reach out to bloggers wether you have a blog yourself or not. Comment, like and email them. I know it’s scary the first time you do it, but trust me, you will not regret it.

5 weeks

I have sat down to try to write an update so many times, but every time I open the computer with intention, baby girl cries and then my hands are full!

Harriet is 5 weeks now and doing great. The first week was rough. She lost too much weight in the hospital so we had to supplement her after every feeding with a dropper. We were feeding every 2-3 hours and a feeding took about an hour for the breast, burping and dropper so sleep was happening in 1-2 hour stretches. Feeding was so painful at first. I never thought I would bleed from my nipple…

The second week highlight was having my mom and dad come visit and Will went back to work. Mom took care of the baby and dad did some projects around the house. It was great. I just had to feed her and then hand off to grammie to do the rest.

Week 3 was my first time being completely alone with the baby all day. I was nervous at first that I would not be able to hack it and would be too tired to do anything, but luckily things went well. When you don’t have people over you really can get into a grove. I was able to stay awake most of the day, taking an afternoon nap with Harriet. We had several visitors that week stopping by to bring food or just to say hi.

Week 4 was me getting out and around more with the baby and figuring out to do things. I figured that going shopping was easiest wearing the baby as if I put the car seat in the cart, there was no room for food! We went to the mall and the chiropractor and tried to get the house in order.

During the past week we’ve been getting out for lots of walks and social visits. I try to get out of the house 4/5 week days to help the time pass and to not be too sedentary. We’re heading to my work tomorrow to introduce her to my co-workers.

I’ve been doing well too. The first 2 weeks I was pretty sore. Not gonna lie, childbirth is painful. But, you forget pretty quickly just what it felt like. I remember it was the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life, but can’t remember exactly how bad. Right afterwards I said “next time I’m getting pain meds”, but after just 1 week or so I was already back to thinking I’ll have the next one (God willing there is a next one!) naturally as well. I have no idea how much I’ve lost so far, but am still wearing stretch and maternity pants!! They are just so much more comfortable and the stretchy belly part of the pants prevents any muffin top action from regular jeans 🙂

Thats about all I can say for now as baby girl is starting to stir and when she wakes, she wakes fast and hard and if I’m not ready for it, I pay! I’ll attach some pictures quick before I wrap this up.

photo 5 photo 4 IMG_1233 IMG_1281

At some point I’ll post our birth story. Just need to get it finished first.

xBlessings

Tally

Surprise! 

Harriet Mira Smith arrived 2 weeks early on Feb 25 at 6lbs 5 oz! We were not exactly ready for her, but are so happy she is here and healthy. More to come when I’ve slept for more than 3 hours…





Fun with Fur Babies

So I don’t think it’s a secret on here that I am a crazy cat lady. It’s not overly apparent in my daily life as I have a husband and [soon to be] baby, which helps keep me from achieving full-blown crazy status. I’m able to keep it contained and behind closed doors—until now.

This is my baby–Scutero. She is pretty much the best kitty in the world. You can see how easy it is to be obsessed with her.

IMG_0057

There are a lot of baby things that are confusing and difficult to visualize without a squirmy baby involved. So in my final months/weeks of pregnancy, I started using our cat as a guinea pig for various baby items as well as just to satisfy my fix my holding my future baby.  Of course I do these things just to be stupid, and provide myself free entertainment.

I thought I would share them with you for a good laugh and for some inspiration if you’ve thought about doing the same thing…

photo

Kitty trying out the Maya Wrap. She actually sat in there for a few minutes (with some petting/snuggling) before she needed to get out

 

photo

Dressing a fussy baby can’t be harder than a cranky kitty

IMG_0665

Swaddling a kitty. I am laugh/crying here, if you’re wondering about the odd look on my face. She did not like this one.

 

We also tried putting her in the car seat and bassinet, but she jumped out of those so fast we couldn’t snap a picture.

Please share any photos or stories of you being a crazy cat lady/dog lady to join in the fun!!