I’ll be 20 weeks in a few days and am still having guilt issues about our success in getting pregnant. I have yet to wear tight fitting clothing to show up my blossoming bump. I wear loose shirts, jackets and stretchy pants so I just look lazy and disheveled. My husband wants me show off my belly, but I just feel that if I do, it looks obnoxious.
I know at some point no matter what I wear it will be obvious what is growing underneath (and soon I will grow out of my clothes and have to get maternity clothes which tend to exaggerate the belly), but I still feel like if I wear clothes that show off my bump it’s rubbing people’s face in my success. That is how I felt when I was waiting. Every big belly made me want to cry and punch that woman for having what I wanted. Now I’m afraid people want to punch me.
I seriously wish there was some kind of sign I could wear explaining our story. Will I ever get over this guilt and be able to embrace and celebrate this time?
In exciting news we get to find out the gender of our baby this week…stay tuned..