Bump ahead

I’ll be 20 weeks in a few days and am still having guilt issues about our success in getting pregnant. I have yet to wear tight fitting clothing to show up my blossoming bump. I wear loose shirts, jackets and stretchy pants so I just look lazy and disheveled. My husband wants me show off my belly, but I just feel that if I do, it looks obnoxious.

I know at some point no matter what I wear it will be obvious what is growing underneath (and soon I will grow out of my clothes and have to get maternity clothes which tend to exaggerate the belly), but I still feel like if I wear clothes that show off my bump it’s rubbing people’s face in my success. That is how I felt when I was waiting. Every big belly made me want to cry and punch that woman for having what I wanted. Now I’m afraid people want to punch me.

I seriously wish there was some kind of sign I could wear explaining our story. Will I ever get over this guilt and be able to embrace and celebrate this time?

In exciting news we get to find out the gender of our baby this week…stay tuned..

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4 thoughts on “Bump ahead

  1. Don’t feel guilty. Instead, embrace this gift and pray daily for anyone who might view you in jealousy. Love ya sugars!! Be proud of the gift your Poppa God gave ya 😉

  2. Finding out the gender this week – so exciting! Can’t wait for the update.

    I feel the same way about being pregnant and I’m now far enough along that there is no hiding it in any clothes. I want to tell people when they ask that we struggled to get pregnant and we had a stillborn daughter… but instead I try my best to just smile and confirm that we are, in fact, very excited (why do people ask that? it seems like such an odd question to me). Try not to feel guilty and to enjoy it when you can 🙂

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