Hello! It’s been a while but, I guess the best inspiration for a quiet day of reflecting and writing is when its 90 degrees outside with 80% humidity. Oh, and we don’t have AC, and one of our fans broke last week, the other one shrieks if it’s too humid out, so its unusable. So I’m literally lying on the floor of our concrete unfinished basement floor (thank you flooding) in my skivvies trying to stay cool.
I had my first visit with an OBGYN last week. I was quite stressed leading up to the visit because when we moved to the cities, I was so focused on an RE, that I didn’t think about if I got pregnant, where I would go. I had my 7 week ultrasound with the CRM (Center for Reproductive Medicine) but after that, they turn you lose to be with the “normal pregnancy population”. I am a bit a procrastinator and when CRM told me to find a clinic, I thought, “yeah yeah, I’ll get there”. Well at 9 weeks, I had done hours of preliminary research, but just couldn’t decide. Midwife or OBGYN; close to home, or close to work…Well I finally picked one by default (many were not accepting new patients) and everything was good.
However, I am a bit nervous about the fact that because we had our first scan at 7 weeks, I have to wait until 20 weeks to do another “free” scan. I am just so fearful that the baby will stop growing or something will be wrong, between my first scan and 2 months from now and I won’t know until 20 weeks and be devastated. But my husband, always the rock asked me “Do you want to be a Peter, or a Thomas?” I didn’t get what he was asking at first, but he explained.
If you read John Chapter 20, you’ll get the full story. In a nutshell, Peter believed that Jesus had risen just by seeing the empty tomb and reports by Mary Magdelene, but Thomas said he would not believe until he actually saw Jesus. John 20:29 -“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'” Another illustration is from one of my favorite Christmas movies “The Santa Clause”– “Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing”. Sometimes we get so worked up in what is real and needing proof of everything. If we see it, we will believe it, but not until then. Maybe God just wants to remind me of that child-like faith that we are called to have. If I had scans every few weeks, I wouldn’t need to believe, because I’d just be seeing.
Blessings and good luck to you all in the next few weeks!!!