Isn’t it funny when you notice that you have something on your brain and then you notice things related to it every where?
As you know I’ve recently started my new job and its my first time being in the hospital since starting fertility treatments. Today I was reading someone’s chart and it mentioned IVF all over the chart. Of course to me IVF is in vitro fertilization, but that might not be the case for others. I’m thinking this is weird, since its the chart of a 45 year old man. Then I realized, oh wait, Its not that IVF. Intravenous fluids. Duh.
Also, I’m analyzing every new person I meet at the hospital. Oh, you’re married and 35 with no kids? Are you infertile? I can’t help but wish we had a secret handshake to see if someone else is in our elite group 🙂
Sometimes I think fertility issues are all I think about! I’m going to make it my mission to try to think about other things like helping people, getting to know the people I work with and spreading the love of Jesus.
Have you ever taken a reality check and realized something is dominating your thoughts? What did you do to shake them?
Well, my life has been pretty cray cray lately. I was offered the job I applied for back in June and I start next Monday. I wasn’t offered until last Thursday so that is a pretty quick turn around to get all the paperwork and background stuff done that is required when working for a large hospital system. If any of you work in healthcare (or probably any other career other than cat-sitting), you know what I mean. So my blogging, will likely become a little more sporadic, but I really hope to keep posting once a week.
And to top that all off I was notified last week that my blog was nominated for the 2014 Hope Award for Best Blog.
What?? I just submitted my entry for the NIAW: Resolve to know more to join the club and try to get a few more friends to share my journey with via the website. That has always been my goal of this blog from the get-go: to connect with others to make this isolating situation less isolating. Each time someone “follows” my blog or “likes” a post I seriously feel a personal connection to you. It tells me “hey, you either get what I’m feeling, or want to go on this journey with me”, which is wonderful!
The only thing I can say is how amazing God is and how He has blessed me immensely this month. After having so many things go wrong, some things are starting to go right. I am so honored that people read my blog and thought it was something other people struggling with fertility issues or who have a heart for that should read. Wow.
So if you like my blog, feel free to vote and follow me, and if you like someone else’s better once you get there, vote for them and start following them too. You’ll get to make a new “friend”, because isn’t that really why we blog about our journeys in the first place?
The other day while sitting in the waiting room at my clinic, I noticed a few women who were obviously from Muslim cultures, wearing hijab. Some were Somalian and others were of Arab decent. I had read in books previously how many other cultures (not just Muslim) can view illness and diseases. This made me want to read a little more about it. Many cultures believe that if you are stricken with something (like infertility), it is God’s way of punishing you for either something you did, or something your ancestors did.
As I sit in the waiting room I thank my God for His grace and His love. Our God is a God of love, not vengeance. As a pastor once said in his sermon: “We live in the New Testament”. I believe that we were given this challenge to make us stronger and bring us closer to God, not to punish us. Our God truly loves us and wants to use our lives to glorify Him, not to instill fear.
I have so much compassion for women in other cultures who are struggling with infertility as well as shame, social isolation or even abuse. I know that every single person is unique and I’m sure there are people from these cultures who are not chastised, but the reality is that there are so many out there who are.
So as we have our ups and downs of this journey and have pity parties, lets be thankful we are not being ridiculed, exiled, or abused for our infertility. I am thankful that I have been given the journey I am on and pray for these women all around the world who have the endure horrible things because they cannot produce children. “Counting our blessings” can really make this journey more endurable.
Check out this article if you are interested in reading more about how women around the world are affected by infertility.
The other day I was sitting on my couch with my husband and my kitty. We were watching a movie and snuggling in. I sat there and looked around me and thought “I already have a family” and “I already have a baby”. Those of you who aren’t cat people probably will write me off as crazy, and that’s ok. But I LOVE my cat. Like if I didn’t have a husband, I’d be happy to go down the crazy cat lady route in life. I snuggle her, she takes naps with me, she cries when she’s hungry and she tells me when she wants to go outside and roll around in grass. She is my baby. No, I’m not putting her in strollers and walking her around the neighborhood (although I would if it were socially acceptable). 🙂
Spending the last 2 years without her was SO hard, especially when going through sub fertility. I knew that having her back in my life would help ease the pain of not having a baby in my arms. I was right, having her makes me happy. This past month has gone by with a lot less anxiety and craziness and I attribute that to having my kitty by my side.
So, until I’m able to hold my real baby, I have my fur baby, Scutero.
The Lord has really put helping/connecting with others in my same situation on my heart and I really wanted to join a prayer group for those struggling with infertility (or should I say sub-fertility because apparently that s the more correct term for those without a reason for the lack of pregnancy), but have not found anything so far. I’ve goggled all combinations of terms, but still no luck.
Is anyone aware of a prayer group that already exists in Minneapolis? There is a RESOLVE support group that I’m going to start attending, but there is a difference between a support group and a prayer group.
My other idea was the start my own prayer group. I only need 2 or 3 people to start one, but don’t know a single soul in Minneapolis going through this. And I feel like my clinic would be none to happy if I approach everyone I see in the waiting area. So if you don’t know of a prayer group in Minneapolis, do you know anyone else struggling that would want to join mine?