This past weekend in my kicking infertility’s butt series, I completed the 20k Tongariro Alpine Crossing with Will and another couple this weekend. We spent the whole weekend in the area since it was about 4 hours drive from Auckland. A nurse from the clinic called to talk to me about my last cycle and next plans while I was in the car with one of them and so obviously I said some things while on the phone that I felt I had to explain. Things like “day 10”, “day 1”, “same dosage”, “earlier scan”…
So I filled in this friend on our situation. Most people we’ve told have reacted in a way that I expect with saying they were sorry or something like that. This friend responded to me explaining that we were undergoing fertility treatment with “How exciting!”. At first, I was taken aback. I was thinking no, not exciting, sad. Sad was the word you were looking for.
Then later on while discussing the amount of wine that needed to be purchased for the weekend, I had to explain that I would not be drinking any, and not for the usual reason women of my age give. His response was something very similar. He smiled and I can’t remember his exact words, but they were also positive.
It really got me thinking. Am I looking at this wrong? I feel like I’m using a ladle to bail out a sinking ship and they think I should be excited. But you know what? I am excited. I am excited about the possibility of using modern medicine and The Lord to grant my deepest desire that hasn’t come easily to me. I’m excited that we’ve been able to do 2 cycles of Clomid before moving home. I’m excited that my turn is coming up. I’m excited that this could actually work.
So that’s where I’m going to be this week, excited.
Here are some pics of my colossal hike this weekend.